There’s nothing easy about Madison

June 4, 2011

General

I don’t know where I got the idea kids would be easy, but that’s what I expected. I expected… well, I take that back, I asked God for a happy healthy baby. At the time, that’s all I wanted. I forgot to ask him for a smart, out going, obedient, agile, athletic child who can get a scholarship to college.  Because that’s really what I meant to say–that’s what I really meant. Madi isn’t any of those things. I must admit she drives me nuts! Obviously, you already know I love her but GEESE!!! She gets bored so easily.

Today when I picked the girls up from school, her teacher chased me down as I walked to my car to tell me Madi was up to three marks on her ‘blue card.’ The blue card is a  behavior modification tool/card that keeps track of how many times the teacher has to speak to students. Every fourth mark, they are disciplined and sent to the dean’s office. Anyway, she went on to tell me Madi continues to read during class time. So, she’s not paying attention in class. Lord knows she can’t afford to not pay attention in class. This teacher has spoken to me about this before and I have spoken to Madi about it before. Still, the child reads when she should pay attention to the lesson.

A while back, I stopped taking the twins to the book store to buy books as a punishment to not getting good grades in school. That didn’t work. They began to borrow books from friends or from the school library. I remember the days I had to force them to sit down and read. Where are those days?? LOL I know what you’re thinking, still, she shouldn’t read during class, it’s rude. It seems weird to complain about a child in her condition. For a long time it was hard to treat her the same way I treat her sister and expect the same things from her. I’m almost sure she manipulates me…Can I say that on the blog??? She uses her sickle cell to get preferential treatment. This in not uncommon, I know. All kids do it. Even those without a medical condition.

So, here’s my complaint, and I get to complain JUST THIS ONCE! No more, I promise.

  1. Her grades are average at best
  2. She quit tennis lessons
  3. She made the swim team but says she doesn’t want to swim competitively, only for fun. “WHAT?!!!”
  4. She cheats or looks for a short cut in almost everything she does
It’s my fault. I haven’t expected much from her. I spoil her. Now, how do I fix this? Because on the other hand she’s a great kid. Here’s everything I like about her. (notice I said ‘like’ because I do like her as a person as much as I love her as my child)
  1. She’s kind
  2. Thoughtful
  3. Compassionate
  4. Generous
  5. Sweet
  6. Smart
  7. Patient
  8. and Loving
She’s my road dog. We can cuddle all day and just chill, go shopping at the mall or do a movie and popcorn. I just hate to see her give up on things so easily or not do her best. It’s all the more frustrating when I know she can do better. Sometimes she’s just not interested in doing better. What do I do with that little piece of information? I have to either let this go or find a way to challenge her that encourages her to always do her best always.
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4 Comments on “There’s nothing easy about Madison”

  1. Tracie Says:

    Really Rena this is not a task that will be hard for you!!! I know you asking yourself why? Well I couldn’t figure out why we were placed in each other life, but I knew it was for a good reason. You ask how can you fix this? You fix it the same way you fixed it with me. I was reading this blog and wondering if she was my child, because you described me. So put your supervisor hat on and tell give Madison the Black women speech you gave me over and over again til u see change!

    Reply

    • Rena Says:

      She’s heard that speech a few times 😉 but I’ll keep trying. Not everyone responds to the same stimuli. She’s not like you Tracie, she has a hard head. I have to figure out how to motivate her in a way that will permanently change her behavior and change her attitude toward her own success.

      Reply

  2. SomerEmpress Says:

    Good morning Rena, it sounds like you have wonderful, well-balanced, and emotionally adjusted children. The things you “like” about them ARE the most important things; the rest, you’ll just have to keep at it! That’s what ACTIVE parenting is all about, so keep your foot on the gas, and enjoy the ride with your road dog in tow!!! 🙂 (I’m glad Madi wasn’t throwing spitballs in class; now, THAT would be rude! 🙂 Be Well!

    Reply

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