Oh Joy!

January 17, 2011

General


Madison has a twin sister. I dare not mention her name. She has her own identity and this blog is only about her in the sense that Madison’s condition takes a lot of time and attention away from her. Plus, this blog is not about her (wink-wink). She’s smart, cute and popular -a tween in the true sense of the word. She said, “Grandma, I’m in the cool group in school.” I guess Madi isn’t. They have a different set of friends which I guess is ok since it’s the only part of her life that’s sure, solid and “stable” so to speak. She has some control over what happens to her in school. In school, she’s the smartest, she gets the attention and she’s the most popular, which sort of evens things out a bit. Because, at home, Mommy has to make sure Madi takes her medication, drinks enough water, gets to doctor’s appointments and addresses pain episodes before they become unmanageable.

Madi’s twin is AWESOME! She makes me laugh, is strong, independent and insightful. However, Madi has always gotten most of my attention because of her doctors’ visits, emergency room visits, late night pain episodes AND my overall over protective neurotic-ness. She and I both have spent countless hours massaging Madi’s back, legs and arms trying to relieve the pain. Did I mention she’s kind and compassionate? Still, recently, she told me she resented me leaving her alone so much when they were smaller. On more than one occasion she’s told me about the first night she had to sleep in their bed room alone all night while I stayed at the hospital with Madi. She said, my niece, who was with her at the time, wouldn’t let her sleep with her. She was alone, afraid and cried all night. Her father and I were, at that time, recently divorced so I took in my niece to help with the bills and assist with child care. Still, she’s never forgiven me. Luckily the she monsters she so desperately feared didn’t get her that night.

Anyway, my point is balancing siblings of chronically ill children is not a science. It’s an art. There’s no right or wrong. You do the best you can with lots of hugs and kisses and pray for the best. Still, I want her to know how proud I am of her. She’s been very brave and helpful over the years. Plus, this blog IS about HER and how her life could be better if her sister was better. It’s about them both. It’s really about families trying to juggle as much as they can without dropping anything.

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2 Comments on “Oh Joy!”

  1. Lonzoa Says:

    Beautiful!!! It’s takes courage to be able to stand up and support your family. Some of us walk away and some just don’t know how to engage.

    Reply

  2. Tracie Says:

    The Holland twins and their mother have the strength of a Lion. Why you ask? Well anyone can give up and lose faith , in fact most people do because it’s the easiest thing to do. Not this Trio, they hold it together when everyone else would fall apart, and to me that true strength. Madison is the strongest even when she is in pain , she still manages to smiles and lift the spirit of her sister and mother.

    Reply

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